The Village Food Fight Fete! (From the Mad World collection)

The village fete at Hicky Hall
had turned into a free for all,
food was flung from pew and chair
and fizzy drinks from gord knows where!

Fairy cakes and buttered scones
were tossed around like sugared stones
and very soon this ancient lodge was
split
splat
splodge
with sticky stodge!

Mrs Burn, with her blue rinse perm,
was hit as she poured from a hot tea urn
and dear old Ned on his wooden leg
slid a full three foot on a hard boiled egg!

Poor Miss Proop, from the knitting group,
(wearing a bowl of tomato soup)
saw Great Aunt Fran do a
trip
slip
and stumble
as she walked past her chair with a bowl of crumble!

Antique paintings, rugs and throws
were spared no thought like you'd suppose
and portraits old from where they hung
were caked in cake as cake was flung!

Tapioca, custard, cream
dripped from drapes once kept pristine
and cornice, corbels, features rare
had splatters here
and splodges there!

But very soon the grey haired guilty
calmed themselves with a cup of sweet tea...
....Though Hicky Hall was not the same,
(or Sticky Hall as it became)
the woman's guild of Hicky Green,
(despite behavior quite obscene)
then booked with Hicky Hall a date
for next year's
Village Food Fight Fete!